An Engagement (Ring) Story

How can a person overcome the intimidation of picking a ring to propose to someone in the jewelry business? Yikes! This is just what my fiancé faced when designing my ring.  We had the talk, we discussed the idea of marriage, we were in agreement that we liked each other enough to commit :o) but he wanted clues as to what I wanted in my ring. So I gave him stats, I offered him a vague idea of style, and hoped he'd be ok to proceed alone. Nope. He continued to anxiously wring his hands and ask me details, the same I'd already offered. I told him: Tomas, I shall propose to you instead! Enough of this traditional nonsense with a ring.  That was not accepted, he was adamant that a ring be involved and that the asking be on his side.  I confess that although I am often unconventional, I was pleased and touched by his statement of intention. The hand wringing did continue, however... so, jewelry designer that I am, I did some quick sketches.

My specs were: 1) European cut diamond (I did not specify size, but I do have good sized hands), preferably sparkly (not too many inclusions) but with a bit of color so it looks like a natural earth birthed gem OR even a star ruby...I've always had a crush on these fantastic beauties, preferably pink, not red. 2) Yellow gold- I like 18kt gold or more pure, for the richness of the yellow color and the strength of the metal 3) A bit of magic...like swirls or a symbol or maybe some dots like Etruscan jewelry tends to favor 4) Rubini Jewelers has to create the ring. This was not flexible. Either my father Jaime Rubini or our other jeweler- but it had to be from the family business 5) Surprise me! I gave him the stats, I did some sketches- then I bade him go forth into the designing magic jewelry world courageously...I had faith he'd create magic, with a little help from my father.

They worked covertly via text, Tom providing Jaime with more concrete sketches of what he wanted for the final ring design.

I did receive an odd request to source a small star ruby by my father...a bit odd since I'm usually the one working with customers and I'd not heard who was looking.  So wink, wink...I knew I was probably looking for my own star, but so be it; lucky me that I got to see the colors myself and get it from a supplier who I think is a loving genuine person.  That is just the vibe I wanted for my ring! 

From crystalvaults.com: "All natural Rubies have imperfections within them, including color impurities and inclusions of Rutile needles known as “silk.” These inclusions help distinguish natural Ruby from synthetics and when structurally oriented so the light shines off the “silk” in certain ways, the inclusions actually increase the rarity and value of the stone. If cut en cabochon, these special stones may display a chatoyancy, or rare “cat’s eye” effect, or in the case of a Star Ruby may display a six-rayed star effect called asterism, that causes the light rays to appear to glide magically across the stone as it is moved. [wikipedia.org][gemstone.org][gemselect.com] Star Ruby has the same metaphysical properties as Ruby, but with increased healing and magical energies. It is most powerful at full moon. The Light of the Soul is reflected and grounded within the star of the Ruby, and amplifies one’s internal resources and fortitude. It is extremely potent for those inclined to self-harm or self-neglect, and is quite beneficial in overcoming sexual dysfunction or the trauma of sexual or power abuse and suppressed anger. As a stone of spiritual Light, it can be used by Light workers and healers to integrate high-frequency energy into the body, and assists one in recognizing the true abundance of life. [Eason, 71][Ahsian, 334]"

From empower-yourself-with-color-psychology.com "The color pink represents compassion, nurturing and love. It relates to unconditional love and understanding, and the giving and receiving of nurturing.

A combination of red and white, pink contains the need for action of red, helping it to achieve the potential for success and insight offered by white. It is the passion and power of red softened with the purity, openness and completeness of white. The deeper the pink, the more passion and energy it exhibits.

Pink is feminine and romantic, affectionate and intimate, thoughtful and caring. It tones down the physical passion of red replacing it with a gentle loving energy."

As for wanting a diamond- in Western culture and especially in the US, we are taught from the start that intimate loving long term partnerships usually involve the symbolism of the exchange of a diamond. I was nearly ashamed that I too was influenced by this Western culture tradition. From Charmsoflight.com they are "A symbol of purity, the Diamond’s pure white light helps to bring our lives into a cohesive whole.  It brings love and clarity into partnerships, bonding relationships.  Diamond is a sign of commitment and fidelity, and instills trust to relationships and situations.  It inspires the forces of accumulation, attracting the manifestation of abundance.  Diamond is an energy amplifier.  It is a stone that never requires recharging.  It will bring strength and endurance to all energies and will enhance the power of other crystals." So the hype around diamonds, so often these days seen as a racket so the Diamond Mine owners get richer, is actually based in altruistic genuine intentions. One's most of us have for good-ness and energy to fulfill our life purpose and of course our desire for pure love.

The ring was hand carved in wax by my father, then cast in yellow gold, set with a beautiful  Old European cut diamond, flanked by a happy little star ruby, hand engraved with a sun, which I liken to the Adinkra symbol of the 8 pointed star meaning "I rely not on myself. I am a child of the universe" because sometimes in life, I am too human and need an extra support system.

The Etruscan knobs I mentioned turned out to look more like the spine of a dragon, another perfect turn of events, since magical energy is what jewelry is all about.

And how did the proposal go down?  Nervously, starring half an avocado...